How to build a strong family unit |025

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About this episode


In this episode of “Future Learners,” titled, ‘How to build a strong family unit‘ hosts Brett and Ellen discuss the essential elements for building a strong family unit, emphasising the importance of effective communication, shared values, and the unique dynamics of diverse family structures. They highlight practical strategies such as setting clear roles and responsibilities, spending quality time together, and the significance of flexibility and adaptability in nurturing a supportive and resilient family environment.

🎧 Tune into this episode on Apple Podcasts here. 

Key Points:

  • Foundation of a Strong Family Unit:
    • Brett emphasises the importance of deeper conversations that create a strong foundation for families, which is crucial for growth and success in all aspects of life.
  • Communication as the Bedrock:
    • Effective communication is highlighted as the bedrock for successful family dynamics, involving open and honest dialogues, active listening, and conflict resolution. This is essential for creating alignment within the family.
  • Diverse Family Structures:
    • Ellen shares insights from a single parent’s perspective, discussing the challenges and strategies in building a strong family unit without the traditional two-parent setup. She stresses the importance of resilience and acceptance within varied family dynamics.
  • Shared Values and Beliefs:
    • The episode discusses the importance of establishing shared values within the family, which can be communicated and reinforced through regular family meetings and discussions about family expectations and behaviours.
  • Roles and Responsibilities:
    • Clear roles and responsibilities are crucial for maintaining order and understanding within the family. This segment covers the significance of clarity in who does what, which helps in minimising conflicts and misunderstandings.
  • Quality Time over Quantity:
    • Brett and Ellen discuss the importance of spending quality time together as a family rather than focusing solely on the quantity of time spent. They explore how meaningful interactions can strengthen family bonds.
  • Celebrating Achievements:
    • Recognising and celebrating each family member’s achievements is vital for reinforcing positive behaviours and contributions, which enhances a sense of belonging and appreciation.

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🎧 Tune into this episode on Apple Podcasts here. 

transcript

Brett Campbell (00:00)

Hello and welcome to another episode of Future Learners. I am your host, Brett Campbell, chairman and CEO of Euka Future Learning, and I am joined by my amazing co -host as always, the founder and the head of education, Ellen Brown. How are you, Ellen?

Ellen (00:15)

Very well, thanks, Brett.

Brett Campbell (00:17)

Excellenti I am just gonna give a quick shout out to all of you amazing listeners, especially the ones who have jumped over to iTunes Spotify YouTube and left us comments and or even better a five -star review because we really appreciate your reviews and of course bonus points another seven bonus points to you if you have shared an episode with Someone that you know will get value as well. It helps us get this message out to the people who we believe want a well want it and need it most so.

Thank you so much for that. And again, as always, be sure to share this episode if you’re getting any value from it. Ellen, today I’ve chosen a topic and it’s one that, I mean, the more we have conversations about, hey, what should we talk about? What’s going to be important? How does it relate to learning and how does it relate to education and growth and so on and so forth? I always love to pick topics that, Uh, generally maybe one or two layers removed from the actual, um, let’s call it learning in a traditional sense of, of learning. And I like to go, how can we have something and talk about something that can create such a strong, solid foundation so that anything else applied to it or on top of it will have the opportunity to absolutely grow and prosper. So that’s a short way of saying I like to talk about.

deeper conversations that I truly think are absolutely meaningful and extremely powerful for our families. So given that, I’d like to talk about the concepts and I want to share a number of these concepts and I want to get your sort of your feedback on these as well. Obviously, you know, the beauty of ourselves is we’re both in very different stages of our lives. So we’ve got different uniquenesses that we can bring to it. But I want to talk about building a strong family unit.

So how do we build and cultivate a strong family unit? Because I truly believe a strong family unit is the bedrock and the launch pad for any success from what I actually, well, the way in which I look at it. So I want to tackle that today. Now, there’s going to be a number of points that we talk about that we have touched on before.

but this is a really nice episode, I think, on how we can really tie a lot of these elements together. And at the end of the day, who doesn’t like a framework or who doesn’t like some tools that we can go, you know what, I can actually, what you just said there, I’m gonna take that away and I’m gonna consider that, I’m gonna implement that into my family, you know, family unit. So the first thing I wanna start with, and these are in no way, you know, no way, shape or form, a hierarchical order of importance.

because at the end of the day, the importance of these will be predicated on where someone’s family unit currently is as well. But I will say the first one, which I mean, I talk at Nausium about being the bedrock of anything success and that’s communication. So I wanna talk about the concept of effective communication and how it relates to building a strong family unit. 

Yeah, we’ve done an entire episode on communication. I break down a communication framework and we, we talk about all the concept of, you know, open, honest communication, active listening, conflict resolution. We talk about that because communication is really the vehicle, um, on how we as a family unit create alignment. So I’m going to start with communication. I want, I want to hear your thoughts first and foremost, because just as a preface, uh, anyone listening, Um, Ellen and myself, we haven’t sat there and we haven’t gone through pre -notes. This is sorta, you know, I like to, um, especially certain episodes like this is I like to get the real raw straight from the hip thinking. Um, so as it relates to building a strong family unit, Ellen, where, and, um, actually give me your synopsis of that, right? So when you hear building a strong family unit, what, what are you actually hearing there?

Ellen (04:31)

Look, I think I look at it, you know, how I would say, when I first look at something like that, if I was in a bookshop and I and I saw that as a title of a book, I would find it a bit difficult to approach the book, because I feel like a lot of the times is strong family units involving the two parents and the kids scenario. And I’m a single parent, I’ve been a single parent for 15 years. And, and so I sometimes feel like I, you know, single parents can miss out on, you know, building a strong family unit as a theme. And so having strategies around doing that when you are a single parent, and we’re part of that family unit isn’t in the same home. So in our situation, dad’s not in the same home, but he’s certainly part of the family unit for the children. So that so when you say, you know, how does that make me feel? I think I’m really thrilled that we have the opportunity to talk about this in that perspective as a single parent as well. And

When you ask me what is a strong family unit, I think it’s one where you can weather the storms together, where you can come back together. There’ll be difficult conversations, there’ll be difficult times, but you can come back together and feel like you can accept each other for the differences that you have. So that’s what a strong family unit feels like for me.

Brett Campbell (05:51)

Hmm. I love that you said that because what you just did there in this while, I love every so often having these sort of candid conversations because you’re right. Like you hear strong family unit and it’s like, what does that even mean? Does that mean three children, two parents, you know, two, four grandparents all going away on a holiday. And that’s an amazing strong family unit. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t know too many families that, that, uh, that’s a, that’s a absolute, uh, out of the ballpark success rate. However, what you did hold out there is something that I really want to double tap on for the listeners because a strong family unit is what it means to you, right? It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have both parents. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have, you know, brothers and sisters or a certain amount of children to have what you would call a strong family unit. It is what it is for you. And what we want to do in this episode is we just want to talk about, and I want to share some… considerations for you to think about. 

And how, no matter what your current situational position is, all of these principles are fundamental to that. So the first is that of communication and every relationship must have open, well, effective communication, ideally open, transparent communication, of course. But that’s something that is not easy. And that’s generally the breakdown of most relationships, right? And this is why, again,

We’ve spent an entire episode on communication. So I definitely recommend you going to check that out because that is really what causes the breakdown of most families. It’s the parent getting fed up having to tell their child 10 times to do something. And then all of a sudden they yell at their kid because they’re just like, you’ve just, I don’t know any other way to tell you no. So I’m going to yell at you right now.

And then they hear that as, Oh, no, I’m a bad kid and this and that and that. And then all of a sudden it creates, you know, a lot of fractures within the family, um, communication realm. So communication takes absolute work. Um, but what can you share? Um, and as we sort of go through this and maybe, you know, we could share a story or two each on, on some of them, but as it relates to communication, like what’s, what’s your journey been like for communication within the family unit? Um, yeah, you’ve got multiple children, um, different ages, et cetera, obviously, because you’re not going to have quintuplets. Or you could, you know, you never know, you could have, you could have five the same age, but what’s, what’s your journey been like as it relates to communication? Cause it’s easier sitting here and going, Oh guys, you just need to communicate with your kids and your partner. But as we know that is a, almost a master’s degree in itself to try and figure out.

Ellen (08:19)

Eheh…

Yeah, look, totally agree with what you’re saying there about how it’s different for different people and certainly different even with the different children, because it really does depend on their personalities. So my first child was a talk, talk, talk, talk, talk and, and he would tell me everything about everything that was happening in his life. And then my second one was not like that was completely opposite. And I knew that, like you said, it does take a bit of work. So I had to work out well, he communicates best when we’re doing something together. So I made sure we had some times where we were just doing things one on one. So we just have a chat while we’re doing something, you know, and so it’s a matter of learning with your children how they best and where they best and when they best communicate. And I found that as that’s happened through the years, it’s meant that we’ve got a trusting relationship because sometimes they’ll tell me things that they know I’m not going to like to hear or that

or they think I’m going to like to hear but I don’t like to hear and so I’ve got to work on my reaction to that. But it has meant that there’s been some really difficult conversations with teenagers sharing something that’s happened online or sharing something that’s happened with a friend or different scenarios that I feel like I’m so grateful now that that work was put in when they were young so that they could trust me enough to tell me something that then I could help them navigate. So yeah, it’s about learning each personality and how best and where best they’re willing to be able to chat. And when they get older, knowing where it’s okay for them to have some private things. You can’t have complete transparency when you’re a teenage boy. You need some things that are just private and your own, but knowing that no matter what’s going on, you can come and talk about it and not be judged is really important.

Brett Campbell (10:04)

Hmm.

Yeah. And that’s actually one of, one of the other pillars here, which is building trust with inside your family unit. And that comes from communication that comes from not the words you say, because communication is not just words, words, words, speak, speak, speak. Communication is words, but it’s also listening, right? It’s listening to the words and it’s listening to the words that aren’t actually being said either. So those undertones, those, you know, I mean, I think I’ve become a mind reader of my wife of.

knowing what she’s wanting or knowing what she wants to say to me, but without saying it. And I’m like, just come out and say the words, you know, but it’s there’s, there’s sometimes is I’m going to go around this route to get it. And, and, and that’s what communication is as well. It’s not just how you speak to your child or how you speak to your partner or anyone. It’s, it’s the ability to be able to, to listen and not just listeners. And I’m sitting there on my phone and your child’s telling you something or they’re upset about something. It’s going, what’s really happening here.

Um, because communication takes a long time to develop effectively. I was able to speak really well as a child, like I was a verbal communicator, but my communication was not great overall because I didn’t like to listen much. Right. So that did, because I thought I was good and I can get on stage and say a speech. Yeah. I was, I was blinded by not even knowing what really communication was. And it was the.

you know, the ability to be able to listen and to be able to take into account what is actually truly being said and or not being said. So we did a sort of double whammy there. So the ability to build effective communication in a family unit is absolutely paramount, which ultimately leads to building trust. The next one I want to share is the concept of shared values. I think this is a, this is a really, really important topic. And this wasn’t something that was directly.

uh, created in my childhood, I think now upon reflection, looking back, it was indirectly created. Um, you know, I’ve talked about this before, but yeah, a couple of our core values that if I had to go back in a time machine and look at, at my childhood was, you know, manners, you know, manners was one of like having respect for other people was such a, such a big one. And, and even to this day, it comes so naturally to me and just in my undertone and how I communicate and, and.

You know, so those were things that, that got embedded into our family unit without actually communicating. It was the sets and reps of, Hey, don’t do that. Do this. This is how we do that. This is how we do this versus, Hey, let’s sit down. Now that we’ve established an open form of communication and, and let’s say you’ve established family meeting times, right? Which I think is a really nice tip. It works extremely well for, for me. Um, you know, sit down have a certain time of the week where you’re going to have a family meeting. Let’s talk about our week. How’s it all gone? You know, let’s look at the week ahead, et cetera, et cetera, and really assess, you know, what, what went really well for you this week? What didn’t go so well? What are you going to try to improve next week, et cetera, et cetera. Right. So, um, that, and the foundation of this is those shared values of what do you expect? You know, there are certain things that, um, again, I was directly told of going, if you’re going to be living under my roof, you’re going to be doing this, this and this. I’m like, okay. But there’s other ways on how you can share those values without your child wanting to rebel because they’re being told what to do. No one, whether it’s a child or an adult, no one really wants to be told what to do. So this is where communication also again is unbelievably important is because if we’re able to communicate and say a certain set of words and have a dialogue with someone,

Ellen (14:03)

Mm.

Brett Campbell (14:19)

and get the same result and they feel like they were the one who arrived at this conclusion and they’ve bought into it and they have, you know, full ownership over this. That is the outcome we’re looking at, you know, ruling by, you know, the, the iron fist is generally not the best way for long -term success. Right? So shared values and discussing what are the beliefs of this family and what do we believe is, is a great set of, you know, guidelines and principles that we can be governed by. Talk to me about your thoughts of shared values, anything where you’ve looked to instill that.

Ellen (14:58)

Yeah, that just made me laugh when you were talking about, you know, family meetings, I can tell you the ones that my father used to call, they weren’t really family meetings, they were really more like a dictatorship more than any kind of discussion. But, but, you know, I think I like a long time ago, I had to sit down and say, now, I had a very value rich kind of upbringing, very religious upbringing and.

I wondered why as a teenager, all of that got thrown out the window as far as I was concerned. I wasn’t at all, it didn’t sink in, you know, and I had to really stop and think about that when I was raising my own children. You know, when I have values, how can I help it actually internalize into them? And that’s where, you know, after a bit of reading, helping kids to understand why a value is important is really the key for them to actually internalise it. So if you say you’ve got to have good manners or for example, mine, I used to say that you’re not allowed to run off in the shop, you’re not allowed to run away in the shop, you’ve got to hold on to the pram when we’re going somewhere. Why? Because there’s older people around and they’d be frightened or they could get knocked over. And they would go, okay, it makes sense why we don’t run around in the shop.

Brett Campbell (15:52)

Yeah.

Ellen (16:14)

But then I remember this funny situation being the shop one day and this lady walked past and the kids said, oh, mum, see, there’s an old person that we have to, you know, and I thought, oh, no. But, you know, even something like going to the botanic gardens and my little girl was a real picking flower kind of a person. She wanted to pick them all and understanding that, you know, that respect or caring for other people by not picking them because there’s someone else going to come along in five minutes who won’t get to see any of these flowers.

Brett Campbell (16:23)

Yeah.

Ellen (16:43)

helped her to understand why rather than don’t pick the flowers or in my day it was don’t pick the flowers or get a smack, you know? And I think that understanding the why behind the value is the key to internalizing them.

Brett Campbell (16:50)

Uh, no, huh.

Yep.

Yeah, it very much so is and for the long -term success, absolutely. That’s, that’s what I think because that’s what gets internal ownership and understanding around it is because as soon as they get the ability to not have to do it, it’s like, Oh, I don’t have to do that anymore. I’m going to do this because I never really understood why I had it. So I was only doing it because I was told to do it. Right. I, I love, for example, like one of our core values that we have. Um, and you know, I, I.

Ellen (17:03)

Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, if someone can’t see me…

Brett Campbell (17:26)

I work very hard at this. This is something for me that, you know, it’s one of the joys of being a parent is being able to create an environment or help create. Cause I can only do the best that I can with that. And one of the, one of the key ones is resilience. Like we, we never give up, right? We never give up. There’s always a way to figure something out. And we have a little motto is that the Campbell’s don’t give up. The Campbell’s don’t give up.

And it was hilarious because she’ll be there doing a puzzle. She’ll be doing something and every soft and she just, you know, I can see it. It’s like she tries it once she tries to try. She tries it three. She’s like, nah, I can’t do this. I’m like, darling, what do we say? Right. The Campbell’s don’t give up. We can figure it out. You can do this. Right. I’m giving a positive reinforcement. Um, and the other day I was carrying the groceries and I think like most males could probably relate to this one as.

Ellen (18:13)

Yeah, that’s awesome.

Brett Campbell (18:24)

I was trying to get every grocery bag in one load and I had about eight grocery bags and the six 1 .5 liter waters were about to fall off my fingers. It was cutting my finger and I’m walking into the house and I’m like, I’m going to drop it. And she’s like, don’t give up daddy, the Campbell’s don’t give up. And I was just like, oh my God. And I was like, I needed that little bit of motivation, but you know, it was, and again, these things take so much time to embed into your family unit. Some will come very naturally.

Ellen (18:42)

You cannot.

Brett Campbell (18:53)

Cause it’ll just be natural to that person’s just way of being. Um, and, but what it does in essence is, is it just allows you to actually have some, at least the thought over the life that you want to live in the environment in which you are, you know, like within your household as the adult, you really are the person who should be able to determine what life is like here. Right. Um, and.

be governed by that, but that only starts with you setting that as a priority. So we’ve talked about communication, we’ve talked about which builds trust, we’ve got the concept of shared values, something I think, and this is a really interesting one, I was talking to some friends the other day about this as well, and it was something that I initially struggled with when I became a dad, because my real dad,

Um, I lost contact with him when I was four years old. So I technically didn’t have my dad, a part of my life. Well, I actually didn’t have my dad part of my life, but a stepdad came into the, into the mix a few years later, but, um, and he, he was, he was working from like six in the morning until six at night. Like he was out working hard and, you know, helping to provide for us as a family. And I have limited moments.

that I can remember with him, right? And when I wanted to be a father, but when I was to become a father, I had this paradigm that it was all about time. I want to spend as much time with my daughter as I possibly can, which I went to the far end of the spectrum and essentially early retired and spent the first two and a half years with her and Emily all day every day. And, and,

I thought that was the thing that I could do that would help benefit the family. But in hindsight, it’s not necessarily about the time spent. It’s about the quality of time spent and how many quality time moments can you have? So, you know, exploring it, like looking at the importance of spending quality time together as a family, I think is a really, really important thing. And it’s not just about how many activities do we do together or like, or how many football games or how many…

dance recitals did you go to or this or that it’s the constituting what does quality time really look like? And I could go through my half a dozen memories like to the point where one of the most powerful memories that I have with my stepfather was when he got home one night after working a 12 hour shift and he came out the back and kicked the football with me for 30 minutes like.

Cause that was something that didn’t happen, but that to me was just like, Oh my God. Cause I was the kid who had kicked the football, run and get it, come back. And I’ll do that from after school till it got dark. Right. And that, that quality moment. So it’s really looking at your family unit going where could a quality moment be right now? And how can I help to activate that? So talk to me about your, the concept of quality time.

Ellen (22:06)

Yeah, and look, as a working parent now, my, I feel like quality time obviously is the part that we get at the end of the day and we have dinner together. So we still sit at the table and we have our dinner. The big thing that happens in our house is, you know, a couple of times a week, I pull out some,

board games or sometimes I just have Jenga set up at the table when we come and sit down. Now they’re 16, 17, 18 years old but they always get into it. A game of trouble is hilarious when you’re that age or Jenga or something like that and sometimes we just have you know a good chat but that time is really special time and we just make sure it’s really guarded you know and that can be tricky. Well that’ll be fine.

Okay, so I’ll check you back in. So talk to me about quality time.

Ellen (23:18)

Quality time.

Yes, so as a single parent, it’s really important that time around dinner time is important to us as a household. So we always make sure it’s a priority. Now that doesn’t always work. Sometimes there’s sports and things like that. But I’m even hearing the teenagers say, Oh, no, I can’t because it’s dinner time, I’ve got to do this or whatever, which I really appreciate that they are valuing that now as well. It’s not just because mum said, you know, and two or three times a week, I do something silly, I have a Jenga set up.

or I just the other day I went and got trouble. You remember that game trouble? And I had that and look, it was hilarious and fun or you know, or something like that. And so, you know, because there is just me, it’s not often that I just get that one on one time. But what we do try to do is make sure we do have that together time. And then because we’re so comfortable with each other, we do share, we can share in front of each other because we are a very close unit, you know, so.

Brett Campbell (23:54)

Oh yeah.

Ellen (24:20)

Making sure dinner time is a precious time is a big one for me.

Brett Campbell (24:23)

Yeah. And what you said there about like Jenga and trouble and these card games and what they do is they create an environment that opens up the opportunity for more open, honest communication. And you’re being able to check in on how everyone’s going. And, and that again, elicits the trust factor of, Oh, I’m having really good conversations here. Um, and it’s not forced, you know, you’re not going, okay, family meeting, sit down, tell me.

Ellen (24:29)

Yeah.

Brett Campbell (24:51)

your biggest trouble for the day. Like that sort of, you know, going to the nth degree in many ways, but I absolutely love that. And it’s all about the quality of time. I look at it, right. It’s, it’s not about how much time necessarily is spent. Um, and it’s also does this person does your child and do you actually look forward to that? Um, I think is, is really, really important. And, you know, again, a little bit of a side tip bit is if you’re not doing that. And I mean, the reality is, is you’re probably spending quality time.

Ellen (24:54)

Yeah.

Brett Campbell (25:21)

with your family unit as it is, but you’re not intentionally setting it as quality time and you might not be going, what do we want to get from this quality time? So that’s something as well to consider. Couple others that I want to rattle off.

Ellen (25:33)

Sometimes I drag them into, as I said, sometimes I drag, I might drag one of them into, not drag, but I might have that give me a hand with dinner because even just having someone chop up the vegetables, you know, gives you that opportunity to have that time to just chat together. So just thought that was a good tip as well.

Brett Campbell (25:40)

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Another one that’s really important as it pertains to building a strong family unit is roles and responsibilities. All right, any successful business needs to have clear roles, responsibilities, what’s expected of you, what are you committing to, what are you not committing to, what falls under this remit or that remit. Quite often in families, it’s unless…

The parent is unbelievably diligent and goes, here’s a list of all the 23 things that you have to do. Um, quite often what happens is it just organically sort of take shape. And it’s like, do I do that or do I not do that? It’s like, Oh, I picked my clothes up this time. Does that mean, and, but I didn’t do it three other times. Does it mean I have to pick it up or do I not, or like, like, um, so lots of different, again, this goes back to communication once again, but really establishing the roles and responsibilities of.

You know, who is going to do what and why is that the case? And, and what is the end outcome of that? Because it’s comes back to decision -making as well. Um, Ayla is at that stage now where if she asks mom and she says, no, she’ll come straight to dad. And it’s at the, have you asked your mom yet? Have you talked to her? And it’s like, you know, the one I won, I used to do it all the time, play each parent off each other.

Um, my stepdad got savvy to that. He just goes, ask your mom, ask your mom, ask your mom. Um, and, but that’s important because if you’ve got one parent saying one thing, one saying the other, both parents standing there going, Oh, just let them have it or let them do that or let her do that because of this. And then it undermines that person’s stance on something. And then that creates tension. And so roles and responsibilities are very, very important. Um, and setting that foundation of when it comes to a decision.

Right. How do we think through this decision or, um, do we do it openly in front of our children or do we go behind closed doors and go, Hey, let’s have, let’s have a chat about this. Let’s figure it out. What do we think? Here’s why I think this is why you, I think that et cetera. Um, so roles and responsibilities absolutely, um, imperative. You want to create harmony and cooperation with inside the family unit. So, um, talk to me about that. Anything to add.

Ellen (28:07)

Yeah, absolutely. Look, when they’re young, obviously, you know, you do that fridge thing, this person does the garbage, that person does the, you know, cleaning of the kitchen bench, that kind of thing, undoing the dishwasher. When they get a bit older, it has naturally we have naturally gone into that living together as a group, you know, that the teenagers are responsible for their own rooms and their own washing and it doesn’t take long to

Okay, go. Okay, so yes, when it comes to roles and responsibilities, when mine were young, we did the fridge magnets, who’s emptying the garbage, who’s emptying the dishwasher, things like that. But as they’ve gotten older, we’ve started to develop some, I guess they’re flexible things around living together as a group now. And so the teenagers are in charge of their rooms and doing their own washing and really looking after themselves when it comes to rooms and washing and things.

And it doesn’t take long when you’ve got you can’t find some socks or you can’t find any long pants or a jumper. And I never dive in and say, oh, you know, I’ll come and you know, I’ll go in your room and get all that. And so they have just evolved into the point where they just take care of those sorts of things themselves. So that’s been a really great transition. And when they start forgetting, everyone forgets, all often just say something like, you know, oh, you know, somebody’s been cleaning the shower, I can see that somebody’s used the squeegee to do the shower and one of them go, that’s me. Oh, so that’s awesome. The others here. And then next thing I know, it’s always looking like that. So it’s about picking up, you know, rather than going, everybody should be squeegeeing in the shower, just find someone who’s doing the right thing and make sure that you highlight that and everyone will jump on board.

Brett Campbell (31:36)

And that comes back to a couple that I’ll wrap up with here. One is celebrating achievements as well. So when someone does do something well, we celebrate that and we highlight that. And it’s the reward mechanism, right? It’s the, you see how dog handlers train dogs is the dog does what you want it to do. You give it a treat. Humans act very similarly in nature. Now again,

You don’t necessarily want to be trying to provide treats or rewards or, um, extra, um, benefits to, to your kids, to try and motivate them to do things, but celebrating achievements in such a way that helps people feel, um, yeah, part of the team. It makes them feel wanted. It makes them feel valid. It makes them feel recognized and makes them feel seen, et cetera. Um, so celebrating achievements is a, is a very, very, very important one as well. Um,

It can’t go unlooked because if you’re someone though, who’s not used to giving a positive feedback or it feels weird for you to say, Hey, really good job to someone. Now it might feel weird for you, but consider the upside effect of for someone who really does relate well to words of affirmation. Um, then that can really help motivate them. One thing I was actually say is there’s a book called the five love languages, just as a real quick side note, highly recommend go and check that out and listen to it.

Um, whilst the book is sort of framed in a sense of, you know, your connective partner, et cetera. Um, it’s all about different ways on how, um, people. Prefer, um, to be able to, um, engage. And one of them is words like I, I don’t need gifts. Like I don’t need no gifts. I don’t want no one to buy me nothing. Yeah. Emily can go and buy me a outside of maybe a nice watch, but that’s, that’s totally different, but I don’t, I don’t need gifts.

I just need to know that what I’m doing for the family is making it, you know, it’s felt, right? Even though I know, and I can see it visually, for me personally, words really matter. So find out what someone really appreciates and double down on that way of, you know, celebrating, which again comes back to communication, knowing that we’re not just delivering the same thing for the same person because we’re all different.

And the last one that I just want to touch on is flexibility and adaptability, right? Which the reality is, is building a family unit and a strong family unit and a cohesive family unit is very, very hard. Now, again, I speak with limited experience as it relates to being a parent. You know, Ailash, she’s only three years old. I have obviously been a part of a family and I’ve seen lots of families and I’m a very observant person.

However, one thing that I can say through all of that collective experience and knowledge is it is hard. It is very, very hard to build a very strong, robust family unit that operates at highest levels of achievement at all times. It’s just a, it’s a working progress and we must be flexible and we must be adaptable and know that, you know, it’s not a…

It’s not a guaranteed thing that you go, okay, this is great. I’m going to go and set core values. I’m going to tell my kids how to communicate. We’re going to set a roles and responsibilities agenda. I’m going to be trustworthy to them because I’ll tell them what they want to hear. And, and that’s just not how it necessarily works. You might get some good feedback from it. You might actually get a lot of, um, kickback. So with those last couple there, Alan, um, obviously, you’re celebrating the achievements and then having that flexibility and adaptability. Anything else that you want to.

You want to tap on there before we wrap this episode up.

Well, there we go. So hopefully there’s been some insights that you’ll be able to take away from this episode, how to build a strong family unit. I’d love to hear from you and what practices you put in play to build your strong family unit. It is always something to learn. So make sure that you head over to wherever this episode is published or you’re listening or watching and leave us a comment. Let us know. And until next time, we will see you on the next episode. Thank you so much.